definitelydope:

Word (by Unlisted Sightings)

(via quote-book)

345am, M asks if I think I’m a good person

• *Hears noises at night*:Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
• *Gets shampoo in my eyes*:I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
• *Heart is beating fast*:I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
• *A cop walks by*:Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
• *Taking a test*:Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
• *Gets a sunburn*:Skin cancer

Once, I was supposed to close a show with a 3-year-old kid and we both had matching outfits. During rehearsal, everything went as planned, but on the day of the show he started crying halfway down the runway, so in my head I thought, “What am I supposed to do?!” I ended up picking him up and I carried him to the end of the runway. This was funny only after the fact.

(Source: greyships, via wildheartxx)

• my mom:asians are the some of the safest people in the world
• me:there are asian gangs too and stuff
• my mom:and they're called study groups
• me:omg

wowfunniestposts:

this blog is epic

(Source: leilockheart, via wowfunniestposts)

(via fyeahsuperheroes)

(Source: aplacethatdoesntknowmyname, via bigbrownbean)

(Source: rdjsaidwhatnow, via mooovingon)